Building a Funhouse, Unintentionally...Not So Fun

In one of Pluto's Disney adventures, he followed a lost bone into a house of mirrors...

...and as a result, really complicated his life...

His pursuit of the bone led him into a setting where he completely lost the ability to see things as they really are.  Although perception is reality, it was not his point of view that arithmetically skewed and/or shaped his reality...it was the setting around him.  Pluto was surrounded by images that exponentially skewed his perspective. 

We can handle and even function pretty well, given the garden-variety warp that comes with being in a fixed place/point in time, restrictive though that may be.  But throwing the fun house mirrors into our personal landscape craps things up to the point where we have a hard time in recognizing, and therefore in navigating, this landscape.  Not only do we become schizophrenic, but everyone and everything around us is, as well.

Multifacetedness is good as long as all of those facets are real.  "Real" probably means based upon the universe as it turned out as a result of the latest Big Bang.  Acknowledging the possibilities as produced by past and future Big Bangs is irrelevant in dealing with this one.  And I am talking about the landscape on a far less macro scale than that which contains EVERYTHING.  This, again, is the personal landscape.

When we treat as real the perceptions that are skewed (ie, what we think of when we think of someone that we haven't sen in years...an ex-partner with whom things ended badly), we throw a fun house mirror on the wall.  And then the funny part is that we actually navigate by that. It is like using a road map drawn by Phil Spector.  Why would you?  Where would that lead you?

When we reconnect, or at least reacquaint ourselves, with people from our past and present and see them as they really are, we avoid those distorted mirrors.  We substitute fake perceptions, which can only lead us into Whackville, for real ones.  Seeing things as they really are is, at best, about a 99% possibility.  Everyone sees things with a slight warp that is uavoidable and is the result of being who they are and where they are in the landscape.

Over the past few years, I have reconnected with people from my world with whom things ended badly.  Until these meetings, I continued to see these people as single-minded one-dimensional beings whose only reason for existing was to carry a grudge against me, and to plot some srt of revenge.  They had no other life, totally separate, had made no progress or done anyhing to expand their world beyond where I had left off with them.  Squezed into this box, or mirror, they had grown into morbid creatures in my personal mythology.  And their power over me, their abiity to feed my self-doubt, grew and grew and just kept growing.  Every time I faced doing something difficult, or had a life crisis, their voices drowned out everyone else's, telling me that I was going to fall and fall hard, and that I deserved to because of some wrong I had done them, or some way in which I failed in the past that had involved them.  I think I actually visualized an ex-partner of mine, sitting on a crusty throne, waving a greasy turkey leg in one hand and a spilling goblet in the other, laughing raucously at my lack of confidence.  Like the nanny in the Omen who calls to Damien just before leaping from the balcony...only that dude on the throne was threatening to toss ME off.

Wow, it does look ridiculous in print...the degree to which I gave so much power to a mythological creature .  He wasn't even cool, like a unicorn or  phoenix. 

He actually looked more like this:

So why let something like that into the driver's seat?

When we rid ourselves of these distortions, we take back our house.  

It's the best we can do to see things clearly until we can handle the power of fourth-dimensional perspective.  That's just for grad school students, though.  We will all get a chance to talk in the locker room betwee games, so don't worry.

OlympicWino

PS  Don't you think that the Kramer character was based on Pluto?  The facial expressions, the gift for getting into bizarre situations, the mannerisms...I'm telling you... 

Butternut Squash Soup and Portobello Side Sandwiches

I made this last night, and my goodness, it was FABULOUS!  I've made butternut squash soup before, so what's the big deal?  Technique.  God BLESS the upright mixer.  If you don't have one,I know, they are a bit spendy...but I had NO IDEA how life changing they are.  GET ONE!!!  I have a million reasons why (more about that later).   You can whip this by hand,but the mixer is easier and far more effective.
The little side sandwiches are awesome as well.  Little pillows of decadence.

GROCERY LIST for the SOUP
One butternut squash
Heavy cream
Low sodium vegetable broth/stock (I recommend Imagine brand)
Shwarma Seasoning (see below)
Sea or Kosher Salt

A Word about Shwarma:


This I was introduced to by my wonderful cousin and chef extraordinaire, Debbie Klis.  You all know that I am not big on relying on seasoning packages and other prefab food...but this is something every cook will fall in love with.  It is a curry-based spice complex that is fabulous in stews, sauces, goulashes...even curries! 

TO MAKE:
You are going to cook your butternut squash thoroughy before it even knows it will be soup.  Preheat the oven to 350* F.  Spread a cookiesheet with foil.  Cut up your squash into pieces about half the size of your hand.  Anything bigger and you will have the outside of the pieces cooked thoroughly while the inside near the rind is not quite done.  Butternut squash has stringy bits inside much like a pumpkin that you will need to scrape out, as well as seeds.  Leave as much of the meat intact as possible.  Set the pieces on the cookie sheet and let them bake for about an hour...you can check them at 45 minutes, but just be sure to let them go until a knife goes in easily, all the way to the rind.
When the squash is done, let it cool.  Leave the oven on and leave your cookie sheet...you will need both to do your sandwiches! 
Meanwhile, get out your soup pot and add your stock or broth.  Heat it to a low boil.
When the squash has cooled, cut the meat away from the rind and drop it into the bowl of your upright mixer.  What you are going to make with your squash is essentially a fluffy, workable puree that can be easily melted into hot broth.  Using the wire whip attachment, beat your cooked squash until it gets really smooth.  You may have to lift the whip and remove some stringy pieces of squash...it makes for better soup if you do pull this stuff out. 
Add about a quarter cup of heavy cream and continue beating...add enough cream to let you see a real change in airiness.  You want something that is much lighter than plain cooked squash, but not something that could pass as a pie filling (although I promise that I will explore that notion in a future recipe).  When you have it, add a couple of shakes of the Shwarma...strictly to taste, but go easy...curry fanatics could easily impose their addiction on others who may not be so nuts about it.  Go easy...you can always add more just before serving.  Mix to incorporate the Shwarma, stop the mixer and scrape down the sides of the bowl, and then give your puree one last mixing before dumping it all into your hot broth.
With a wire whisk, mix mix mix that puree into the hot broth.  Turn the mix down to a low boil...even though everything is cooked, the higher heat will break down any last uncooked or stringy bits of the squash and make for a smoother soup.  Keep it at a low boil for about 10 minutes, then turn it down to a simmer.  Give it a beating with the whisk every few minutes to get it nice and smooth.  Before serving, add a bit of your salt to the soup, just to taste. 
This soup can sit, on low or even off, for a couple of hours if need be, before reheating to serve.  It's awesome that way...you can make it ahead, clean up, and it will be there when you are ready to serve. 
Try spooning about a tablespoon of heavy cream into the bowl of soup, and tracing with a toothpick to make a little decorative gourmet touch.  It's a little thing but it sure looks cool!

GROCERY LIST for the SANDWICHES
Ciabatta rolls
Olive oil
Portobello mushrooms
Swiss cheese
Unsalted butter
Red onion

TO MAKE:
Turn your oven up to the high broil setting.  Slice your ciabatta rolls in half and brush with olive oil.  Set them on the cookie sheet and pop in the oven.  You are just going to lightly toast these so that you have a nice crispy texture underneath the toppings, so don't walk away...you don't want to scorch them!
When the ciabattas are toasted the proverbial golden-brown, take the sheet out of the oven.  Lay thin-slices of swiss cheese over them...do not put back in the oven just yet.
Dice up the mushrooms, cook them over medium heat in a skillet with a few tablespoons of butter.  When done, spoon them onto the ciabattas.  You will see the swiss cheese start to melt immediately, so see, there was no need to put them in the oven!
Dice up the red onion, add some more butter to the skillet, and cook until nicely carmelized.  Spoon them on top of the mushrooms.
Lay some more thinly sliced cheese on top of the ciabattas, and pop them back in the oven.  It won't take long...in about 2-3 minutes, they are ready to come out.
You are now ready to eat!  Open some good red wine and get to it.

Once you make this, or perhaps even as you read this recipe, you will see that many ingredients are open to substitutes.  You can use several types of mushrooms, you can use any kind of squash, sub chicken broth for veg, or even leave out the cream (but it won't nearly be as good).  I encourage you to make this your own and try out these substitutions...and let me know too, because I am always interested in good ideas from other cooks.

What a Fine Kettle of Fish...

Now I've done it!  I have finally decided to put a few more minutes of your day on the endangered species list and start blogging.  I really am sorry, but blame yourself.  You know that I hold free will in very high esteem.

As I write this, I am congested...from the fire in the fire place?  So I woke up this mornig allergic to smoke?  That would be a huge problem for me. 

So what I plan to post here are plenty of recipes...I have don that on facebook but not everyone is interested in cooking.  For me, it is a passion...a form of expression...and a good excuse to incorporate cheese into my diet in ways that only JUST stop short of involving an IV and a bicycle pump. 

My cooking philosophy starts with the premise that you must royally screw up a few things.  As in, the first loaf of bread I baked...if I could have had about 100,000 of them, I could have been mortgage free since 1988.  But now, bread is simple for me.  Would not have been had I not tried my hand at masonry, way back.  It's the path you walk...short cuts are for the delusional.  Do not be fooled...do not be disheartened.  Embrace your mistakes, then throw them out to the chickens and you will get eggs.  And then you can probably make a pretty decent egg salad.

All sardonyx aside, cooking is a sacred and honorable expression of love.  The notion that people look forward to coming over for dinner at my place is astounding and reminds me that for all of the areas in which I ned improvement, my food is something that a lot of people really, really love.  If you can nourish people's hearts, minds and bodies, you are doing a darn good thing.  If you cook for ANYONE, stop and think of how truly responsible you are for their well-being and happiness.  Take my husband...his eating habits on the weekend are pretty good because I am feeding him.  But during the week...oy...he never eats breakfast, probably eats lunch out of gas station dumpsters like a damn goat.   By the time he gets home, his brain is starving, and he hunts for candy throughout the kitchen like he's riding with Genghis Khan and smoking his hash.  Dinner is THE only opportunity that I have to get a decent meal into him.  I do this even when I don't feel like it, so I have to keep it interesting for me, as well as for him.

I hope that my posts here give you some inspiration for those nights and days when you just want something diffferent.  My foremost advice is, if it sounds good, do it.  Don't have a recipe?  The universe gave you instincts...they surpass any recipe that you could find in print.  I believe that you should establish some basics, and then let yourself of of the leash.  I believe more in method than measurement...so a lot of my recipes may seem a bit vague at first (as in, while whipping your root veggies in the mixer, add enough cream to lighten it a bit without making it into butternut pudding).  You WILL know what to do.

I also will not be able to help myself from posting the occasional political, spiritual, or what have you piece of thought.  And most likely, plenty of posts featuring wine recommendations that won't break the bank.  And...I am a chronic crafter, so there will be enough soap, candles and incense to make Pier One Imports feel like a 7-11. You'll just have to deal with that the best you can...if you don't like it, go to the kitchen and burn something and pretend I made you do it.

Peace, Love and Carnitas,

Carolyn
The Olympic Wino